michaeldargie

06

§ the writer's desk

The Universe Wants What The Universe Wants

The Universe Wants What The Universe Wants.

4:13 AM. This is the time my brain keeps telling me to wake up for the past few weeks by giving me deep and meaningful thoughts to ponder. Thoughts so deep and meaningful they will change the course of history if only I pay very close attention to them. So profound and vital to humanity are these thoughts that I will spend hours in the middle of the night puzzling out their mechanics before announcing loudly to a still sleeping Jenn, “Yes!” I cry triumphantly, “you can totally send a Purdy’s Ice Cream Bar by email!I’m certain this feeling I have right now is how John Dalton must have felt upon discovering the atom. And like the genius meteorologist and chemist John Dalton, I, too, reasoned that one thing is a lot like another thing, only different. I stand on the shoulders of giants.

It’s now 4:37 AM when I realize the simple truth of the matter (atom joke, my mind is very sharp in the early morning) is we can already email “things” to one another — well, recipes of things. If I send you a picture of Jenn’s cat Newton you can see it on your screen, but when you hit PRINT, a series of instructions occurs (a recipe, if you will), which then spits out a physical picture of Newton that you can touch.

Following this logic, I have a 3D printer. I can email a “recipe” of, say, an Octopus SD Card Holder to myself. I see it on my screen and hit PRINT. Two hours later, bada-boom bada-bing, Octopus SD Card Holder sits on my shelf. Fully immersed in this rabbit hole, I reason that the Purdy’s Ice Cream Bar is the most delicious food on the planet and wouldn’t it be nice to just send one to a friend. Of course, that friend would need to have a 3D Atomic Printer, but surely that’s only a few years away. “Earl Grey, hot.” as Jean Luc Picard would say to his replicator. As I was working out how a 3D Atomic Printer would work, I realized that I was missing an important piece. Nothingness. Just as John Dalton discovered atoms, he unwittingly found the space between atoms, and if it’s one thing that I know from listening to David Gilmour of Pink Floyd, it’s the silence between the notes that creates meaning. Ergo, we need as much nothingness (space) as we need somethingness (atoms). Genius. I’m one step closer to figuring this thing out before my alarm goes off at 6 AM.

Note to future self, “Please do not send a recipe of Newton. One Newton in the world is plenty.

There are so many things to unpack in my opening paragraph, not the least of which is why Jennifer hasn’t smothered me in my sleep. But then there’s the time I’m waking up: 4:13 AM every night. So, like every great mind before me in the last 20 years, I quickly googled, “why am I waking up at 413 AM?” To which Google shared the following result, “Angel Number 413 suggests that the angels are working with you on your thought processes.Angel Number? Intriguing, tell me more about this Angel Number. The third result is from Mind Your Body Soul, and it is even more apparent, “Angel Number 413 is a message from your Angels and the Universe that you are here in this world to make changes in it.

I swear I’m not making this up.

Many times, it has been said that "we’re all here for a reason," and clearly, my purpose is to unlock the secrets of emailing Purdy Ice Cream Bars. It’s like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders now that I know my one true reason for being. Check your email for ice cream bars, friends.

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