06
§ the writer's desk
Snow Showers and Goatnados
Snow Showers and Goatnados.
Migraines and Rocky Mountain Weather Systems
What the hell are "snow showers?" Today's weather app says to expect snow showers, and now I'm confused. I know what snowing is: You've got your light snow, heavy snow, and blizzard. But snow doesn't "shower," snow falls.Or is a snow shower wetter than a snowfall?
Today I awoke with a dizzying array of funky lights being triggered from somewhere deep within my brain—a migraine precursor I lovingly call "Disco Caterpillars." This means a weather change is afoot, and we should all prepare for something new today or several new things because you can never tell what's going to happen next here.I am the canary to your local weather coal mine.
Calgary weather is the ultimate click-bait. "You'll never guess what's coming up. Click here to find out more about why you need to worry about Goatnados and what it means to your family."Anyway, today is snow showers followed by goatnados, and my early-warning system is letting me know it will be a doozy. Be forewarned you will need both an umbrella and a shovel.
May I suggest to any budding entrepreneurs that you could make your fortune creating and selling the "Shuvbrella?" My fee for this idea is a simple 10% overriding royalty; please make cheques payable to MICHAEL DARGIE, WEATHERGENIUS™.