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§ adventures
Old Dog Tricks
Old Dog Tricks.
As much as I like to entertain people, I also want to educate, to wit: In 1523, a book was published called ‘John Fitzherbert’s Book of Husbandry’; in it, Fitzherbert postulated that it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks. This point is hard to argue from an old dog’s perspective. For example, the place of NFT’s in the world (or the METAVERSE for that matter) is an excellent example of stuff that makes this old dog bark and snarl at his toes.In all my years, I never expected to learn of an entirely new kind of screwdriver head. This came out of left field. I was taken entirely off guard.
How did this new knowledge find its way to me? I was working on my new motorcycle because the USB charger which Blackfoot Motosports installed was connected directly to the battery; there was no on/off switch or way to disconnect it while in storage, so the battery died.
No problem, because I ordered that super-cool trickle charger (Ronco™ For The Ages Article) and merely had to plug it in. After carefully reading the instructions (not wanting to blow up my new motorcycle, garage, or Jenn’s car), I decided to remove the battery before charging it. This is where I discovered something I’ve never seen before except for the bolts on the rims of expensive cars: a particular type of security screw that was holding the seat on, presumably so people couldn’t steal your seat or your battery or plant an explosive.
A six-sided star with a post in the middle. What the hell? Where does someone who isn’t in the CIA find something like that? I was mesmerized by the thing. What is this thing even called? Do I need to be a military contractor to access the right tools? Will there be forms to fill out? I hate forms. My day was starting to fall apart.
Occam’s Razor
William of Ockham famously wrote, “non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem “; which is just a fancy, medieval way of saying, “the simplest explanation is usually the best one.” Aha! This old dog just needs to look at this situation simply. I’m simple. I got this.What do I see? Driven into the brace for my motorcycle seat was a screw—I started by googling “screws” (2,510,000,000 results). “Funny shaped screws” (11,800,000 results). “Security screws” (47,400,000 results).
This googling went on for some time, so allow me to get to the point. These are some of the screws I learned about: Mortorq, Pentalobe, One-Way Screws, Lox, Frearson, Pozidriv, Torx (ooooh! That looks close), Torq-Set, TA/TP3, Tri-Wing, Key-Rex (sorta close).
I had no idea there were so many different types of screws, so imagine my surprise when I googled “Torx Security Screw” (4,580,000 results), and there, appearing on the first page, was the same screw I had. Further to this, I wouldn’t have to be deployed overseas to a war zone or even go to Spy School to get the tool I needed. I just had to head down to my favourite store (the one that has everything you could ever need for living in Canada), Canadian Tire.
For the low-low price of $35.99, I am now in possession of a security screwdriver set and have the power to unlock 61 different security screws. Never before have I felt more powerful, so take that John Fitzherbert, an old dog, can learn a new trick or two.
TOP COMMENTS FROM ALERT READERS
"After googling 'screws' one wonders how many of those 2+ billion results would have taken you to ...more...colourful websites with screws of another nature ;D"~ Jennifer